Teen dating violence is preventable—but only if we start talking about it.

Why We Need to Talk About Teen Dating Violence

Valentine’s Day is everywhere in February—heart-shaped candy, romantic movies, and the pressure to be in a perfect relationship. But behind the flowers and chocolates, February also marks something just as important: Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month (TDVAM).

For too many teens, relationships aren’t just about love and excitement. Instead, they can be controlling, manipulative, or even dangerous. One in three teens will experience some form of abuse in a dating relationship before they even graduate high school.

Many parents and caregivers do their best to guide teens toward healthy relationships, but the reality is that most young people don’t talk about the difficult parts of their relationships at home. They may feel embarrassed, worry about getting in trouble, or not even recognize that something is wrong—especially when toxic behaviors are often romanticized in movies, music, and social media.

At SafeBAE, we believe that every teen deserves to feel safe, respected, and valued in their relationships. That’s why this Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month, we’re breaking down the real factors that shape young relationships, the red flags that can indicate abuse, and how to build relationships based on trust and respect.

Because real love? Real love never hurts.

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships: Knowing the Difference

Teen relationships can be intense, exciting, and emotional, which makes it even harder to recognize when a relationship isn’t actually healthy. Many young people mistake jealousy, control, and even emotional manipulation for signs of love—because that’s what they’ve seen in movies, heard in songs, or even witnessed in adult relationships.

But the truth is, love should never come at the cost of safety, independence, or self-worth.

So, what makes a healthy relationship? And what are the signs that a relationship might be unhealthy or even abusive?

What a Healthy Relationship Looks Like

• Mutual Respect – Both partners listen to and value each other’s feelings, boundaries, and independence. No one controls the other.
• Trust and Support – Each person feels safe being themselves without fear of judgment, criticism, or punishment.
• Open Communication – Both partners can talk honestly about feelings, concerns, and needs without fear of anger or retaliation.
• Personal Space and Boundaries – Both people maintain friendships, hobbies, and personal time outside of the relationship.
• Consent in All Aspects – From physical touch to emotional conversations, both partners respect each other’s comfort levels and decisions.

Warning Signs of an Unhealthy or Abusive Relationship

• Extreme Jealousy and Possessiveness – A partner gets angry when the other talks to others, accuses them of cheating, or tries to control who they spend time with.
• Isolation – One partner pressures the other to spend all their time together and discourages or guilt-trips them about seeing friends and family.
• Controlling Behavior – A partner demands access to the other’s phone, social media, or location as a way to “prove” loyalty.
• Constant Criticism or Put-Downs – One person regularly makes the other feel inadequate, belittled, or as if they are lucky to be in the relationship.
• Blaming and Gaslighting – A partner twists the truth to make the other question themselves, dismisses concerns by saying “you’re too sensitive,” or makes them feel guilty for their bad behavior.
• Pressuring or Ignoring Consent – One partner pushes boundaries, guilt-trips the other into physical contact, or gets angry when they say no.

For many teens in unhealthy relationships, these behaviors don’t happen all at once. Instead, they build over time, often starting with small controlling behaviors that later escalate.

If any of these red flags sound familiar, it’s important to remember: love should feel safe, not suffocating. No one deserves to be in a relationship where they feel trapped, afraid, or constantly walking on eggshells.

Recognizing the Red Flags: When to Take Action

Many unhealthy relationships don’t start out that way. In the beginning, everything may feel exciting, affectionate, and even overwhelming in a way that seems like deep passion. But over time, certain behaviors can shift, and what once felt like love can start to feel like control.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), nearly one in three U.S. teens has experienced physical, emotional, or sexual abuse in a relationship. Yet, studies show that only 33% of those who experience dating violence ever tell someone about it—often because they don’t recognize the signs, feel ashamed, or fear making the situation worse.

One of the most commonly overlooked early warning signs is love bombing—an excessive amount of attention, gifts, or affection that creates emotional dependency. While this can feel flattering at first, experts say it is often a tactic used to establish control. As the relationship progresses, these behaviors can escalate into possessiveness, monitoring, isolation, and even verbal or physical abuse.

In fact, a report by the National Domestic Violence Hotline found that 57% of teens who experience dating violence say it started with emotional abuse—a form of manipulation that can include constant criticism, blame-shifting, and gaslighting. Over time, these behaviors can lead to more extreme forms of control, including threats, intimidation, and violence.

A study from the Journal of Adolescent Health found that teens who experience dating violence are more likely to struggle with depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. Additionally, research shows that unhealthy relationship patterns in adolescence increase the likelihood of experiencing intimate partner violence in adulthood.

Despite these risks, many young people hesitate to seek help. Some fear they won’t be believed, while others worry about retaliation from their partner. This is why education is critical—not only to help teens recognize red flags but also to ensure that those who experience dating violence know they are not alone and that support is available.

If you or someone you know is experiencing dating violence, reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or professional can make a difference. Organizations like Love Is Respect, The National Domestic Violence Hotline, and SafeBAE offer confidential resources and support for teens navigating these situations.

Consent, Boundaries, and Healthy Communication in Teen Relationships

One of the most critical components of a healthy relationship is understanding and respecting boundaries—both emotional and physical. Yet, many teens enter relationships without a clear understanding of what consent truly means or how to communicate their needs effectively.

According to a study by the National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC), nearly 70% of young people say they were never formally taught about consent before college. This gap in education leaves teens vulnerable to coercion, pressure, and manipulation—often without realizing that their experiences fall into these categories.

Consent is often misunderstood as a simple “yes” or “no” to physical intimacy, but in reality, it is an ongoing, enthusiastic agreement between both partners in all aspects of a relationship. This includes respecting each other’s emotional boundaries, such as feeling safe to express thoughts, concerns, and personal space without fear of judgment or retaliation.

Recent research from the Journal of Interpersonal Violence found that 41% of teens reported experiencing verbal or psychological pressure from a partner to engage in activities they were uncomfortable with. This highlights the need for clearer conversations about what true consent looks like—not just in sexual situations but in everyday interactions.

Teaching teens about boundaries and communication can prevent harm before it happens. Studies show that young people who receive education on consent and healthy relationships are significantly less likely to experience or perpetrate dating violence.

Some of the most important aspects of healthy communication in relationships include:

• Understanding that “no” is a complete answer and should always be respected.
• Recognizing that silence, hesitation, or uncertainty are not consent. Enthusiastic and clear agreement is necessary.
• Communicating openly about comfort levels, emotions, and expectations without fear of anger or manipulation.
• Checking in regularly with a partner to ensure that both people feel safe and comfortable in the relationship.

Despite the growing push for comprehensive consent education, many schools still fail to include it in their curriculum, leaving young people to navigate these issues on their own. That is why peer-led education programs, like those created by SafeBAE, are essential in equipping teens with the knowledge and confidence to set boundaries and recognize when their consent is being violated.

By normalizing conversations around consent, boundaries, and communication, we can create a culture where teens feel empowered to advocate for their own safety and respect the boundaries of others—a fundamental step in preventing dating violence before it starts.

How to Support a Friend in an Unhealthy Relationship

Recognizing the warning signs of an unhealthy or abusive relationship is one thing—knowing how to help someone experiencing it is another. Many teens see their friends struggling in toxic relationships but feel unsure of what to say or afraid of making the situation worse.

Research from the Love is Respect National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline found that 58% of teens who experience dating violence tell a friend first—not a parent, teacher, or authority figure. This means that peers are often the first line of support for teens in harmful relationships. However, many young people don’t have the tools to respond in a way that is both helpful and safe.

If someone confides in you about their relationship, the most important things you can do are:

• Listen without judgment. Survivors of dating violence often feel ashamed or confused. Avoid saying things like, “Why don’t you just leave?” and instead focus on validating their feelings.
• Express concern without pressuring them. Let them know you care and that you’re worried about their safety, but recognize that leaving an unhealthy relationship is complicated.
• Help them recognize red flags. Gently point out controlling or manipulative behaviors you’ve noticed, but allow them to process it at their own pace.
• Offer resources and support. Let them know that organizations like SafeBAE, Love is Respect, and The National Domestic Violence Hotline can help, even if they’re not ready to leave yet.

It’s also important to remember that forcing someone to leave before they’re ready can be dangerous. Studies show that the most dangerous time in an abusive relationship is when the survivor tries to leave—which is why having a safety plan is crucial.

If you believe a friend is in immediate danger, reach out to a trusted adult or professional organization for guidance on how to intervene safely.

Teen dating violence thrives in silence and isolation—which is why having informed, supportive friends can make all the difference.

Taking Action Against Teen Dating Violence

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month is more than just a campaign—it’s a call to action for young people, parents, educators, and allies to recognize the warning signs, engage in conversations about consent, and create safer environments for all teens.

The statistics are clear: one in three teens will experience some form of dating violence, yet most won’t report it or even recognize the abuse. But awareness alone isn’t enough. We need action.

Here’s how you can help prevent dating violence and support SafeBAE’s mission:

• Educate yourself and others. Share information about healthy relationships, red flags, and consent with your friends, family, and school community.
• Talk about it. Start conversations with the young people in your life—whether you’re a peer, parent, teacher, or coach. Creating an open space for discussion can be life-changing.
• Bring SafeBAE to your school. Our peer-led education programs provide real tools for prevention. Learn how to start a SafeBAE chapter at safebae.org.
• Support survivors. If someone you know is in an unhealthy relationship, listen, believe them, and help them access resources.
• Donate to sustain this life-saving work. SafeBAE is committed to ensuring that young people receive the education and support they need to prevent harm before it happens. Your donation helps us reach more teens, create more resources, and continue fighting for prevention. Donate here.

Teen dating violence is preventable—but only if we take action.

Together, we can create a culture where love is built on respect, trust, and safety—not fear and control.