Ideas regarding rape, sexuality, and consent do not fall out of the air. Rather, they result from ongoing exposure to concepts regarding what types of sexual behavior are acceptable and unacceptable. These concepts are communicated to our youth through a plethora of spaces, including the online domain. In fact, young people who utilize the internet are exposed to a wide range of both clear and mixed messages regarding sexuality through online platforms which feature images, articles, conversations, and advertisements about physical intimacy. By learning more about the messages that our youth are being exposed to regarding sex and consent online, we can provide them with the knowledge and tools necessary to make decisions which enable them to consciously recognize and resist rape culture while also cultivating healthy, fulfilling relationships with self and other.  

Research regarding the impact that the online world has in shaping young people’s views about sexuality abounds. As noted in “Sexuality Education in the Digital Era: Intrinsic and Extrinsic Predictors of Online Sexual Information Seeking Among Youth,” youths frequently confer with online sources to gain information regarding sexual activities and the emotional aspects of sex. On the other hand, young people oftentimes refer to “authority sources” such as schools and parents to gain biological information about sex. Research is also enabling us to start determining whether gender impacts our youth’s pursuit of information regarding sex in the online realm. While some studies indicate that girls refer to online sources for information about sex, others suggest that girls and boys are equally likely to utilize the internet to obtain data regarding sexuality. Additionally, it is clear that the information that youth receive regarding sex and consent in online spaces is not always negative. As noted in “‘We Are Trying to Make Sense of Our Lives’: Health Promotion in the Context of Young People’s Digital Sexual Environment,” “digital spaces support young people to develop skills and knowledge about sex, relationships and identity by providing access to diverse resources across various platforms and communication modes.” In elaborating, the article states that “Having a range of information and perspectives online enables young people to exercise their judgement, critically reflect and build their skills and knowledge in important ways.” With all of this information in mind, we can begin to understand both the dynamic impact that the online world plays in shaping the consciousness of our youth as well as the role that we can play in enabling them to use the digital domain in ways that are conducive to the cultivation of healthy sexual relationships.  

Irrespective of the multiple factors that impact why and the extent to which our youth are accessing information regarding sex online, one thing is clear: they are acquiring information about sexuality through the digital sphere. This process of information acquisition transpires in multiple ways, including but not limited to search results, click bait, and advertisements. Our youth utilize the internet to obtain multiple types of information regarding sex. For example, a statistic reports that 44% of youth have utilized the digital domain to obtain sexual health data. Additionally, much of our youth use the internet to learn about contraceptives and the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases. 

Just as adolescents learn about sex online, they can be exposed to information regarding consent via digital platforms. Although defined diversely, consent is typically thought of as voluntary, clear, and ongoing assent to engage in an activity. To really constitute a form of mutual agreement, consent must be communicated without the incorporation of manipulation, coercion, or pressure. Additionally, consent can be withdrawn in any moment of sexual interaction, irrespective of whether it was given in a previous sequence of time. Although consent can be conceptualized in terms of verbal and nonverbal agreement to sexual activity, many experts agree that individuals should rely on verbal, not nonverbal, agreement to ensure that the acts they are engaging in are truly mutual. Also, the absence of “no” does not constitute a yes; nor do passivity and silence.  

There are a plethora of online resources regarding consent. In many cases, both parents and children can access these websites. Some websites feature videos which individuals can utilize to learn multiple ways to ask for consent. Other consent websites cater to the value of engagement by requesting feedback from teens regarding what type of experience they’re seeking on the digital platform. Teens have requested a plethora of site features, including bite-sized info, catchier language, brighter colours, relatable examples, and information regarding how to deal with sexting. Additionally, many consent websites frame their discourse regarding consent in context of sexual violence. Specifically, they claim that sexual violence surfaces as an issue in dating relationships because many youth do not have a clear understanding of what consent is and how to attain it. Although many rape experts and sexual assault scholars will disagree with this statement, it is effective in functioning as a conversation starter regarding the connections that may exist between understanding what consent is and how attaining it operates as a pathway through which to have mutually respectful sexual interactions. Furthermore, some sites explain that there are situations in which consent cannot actually be attained, such as when an individual feels pressured or is under the influence of a drug or alcohol. Finally, some consent sites provide youth with information regarding how they can support others who are being assaulted by becoming an active bystander. These sites may also offer information regarding how youth can recognize the signs that they are being coerced so that they can develop and maintain healthy interactions and relationships.    

Like many other consent websites, SafeBAE’s digital platform provides teens and parents with a plethora of resources that enable them to make life-affirming decisions regarding their sexual health. For example, the SafeBAE website provides information regarding its curriculum for consent education. Students who participate in SafeBAE’s consent program within their schools receive curriculum packages which include full lesson plans, facilitation guides, slide decks and multimedia materials, posters and printable resources, and assessments and interactive activities. By providing schools with these comprehensive packages, SafeBAE ensures that educational facilities can provide engaging content with clarity and consistency. Additionally, SafeBAE offers accountability training for students who have harmed other students, with trainings placing emphasis on key ideological considerations such as the distinction between one’s intent and the outcome of actions. Another feature of SafeBAE’s consent practices is offering a Sexual Misconduct Policy Reform Guide. This guide is rooted in survivor-centered values and trauma-informed practices and enables schools to develop policies which promote safety, accountability, and transparency. Finally, SafeBAE offers schools opportunities for professional development for faculty and staff. These programs emphasize building school cultures that are predicated on consent and accountability, supporting prevention engagement, and understanding trauma-informed responses to harm disclosure. Because SafeBAE’s approach to exploring and educating students about consent is holistic and thorough, it is likely the ideal program through which parents and youth can gain knowledge and experience regarding how to grapple with potentially complicated issues pertaining to sexuality. 

In addition to being cognizant of how young people are learning about sex and consent online, we need to remain acutely aware of the impact that what they learn may be having on them. As noted in “What Teens See Online Matters: How Media Shapes Expectations About Sex and Relationships,” the more our youth are exposed to explicit imagery in the online domain, the more it becomes normalized. With this reality in mind, we should play an active role in helping our youth understand that the more they review a specific type of imagery–whether they view that form of sexuality as positive or negative–the less likely they will be to view it as unacceptable or inappropriate. Helping our youth understand this principle can function as the springboard through which we explain that viewing forms of sexuality which involve depictions of violence and/or rape is not advisable given that doing so may increase one’s assent to the idea that hurting others physically is an acceptable or inevitable aspect of being a sexual being. Additionally, we need to inform our youth of studies which indicate that, in the absence of adult guidance and individual introspection, media exposure to explicit imagery can lead to the following outcomes: the conflation of silence with consent, difficulty in communicating needs and developing personal boundaries, pressuring others to engage in acts that they do not want to participate in, and the cultivation of unrealistic expectations regarding what the content and quality of one’s sexual experiences should be. These realities can contribute to an adolescent’s development of a negative disposition towards both sexuality and self. Nevertheless, it is also true that ongoing exposure to digital discussions regarding how to cultivate mutually pleasurable and equitable forms of sexuality can enable an adolescent to maintain a positive attitude about sex and the potential to develop healthy sexual relationships with others.  

Although adopting a positive outlook regarding what one might see and hear online regarding sex is not necessarily wrong, it is important for parents and adults to be aware that the digital domain can be dangerous. As noted in “The Prevalence of Unwanted Online Sexual Exposure and Solicitation Among Youth: A Meta-Analysis,” 1 in 9 youth experience online sexual solicitation while 1 in 5 encounter unwanted exposure to explicit material in the digital world. Additionally, young people are now producing their own sexual content. It is important to note that although this content is referred to as self-generated sexual content, much of it is produced through coercive measures, including extortion. 

While it is encouraging to note that the government has taken steps toward making the online world safe for our youth, it is important for adults and teenagers to know that they can and should take their safety and mental well-being into their own hands. Rather than relying on government-mandated rules and regulations to create a safer world, parents and youth can engage in meaningful, challenging conversations regarding the role that individual choice and subjectivity might play when it comes to online activity. As indicated in “How and Why To Talk to Kids About Sexual Health in a Digital Age,” parents can work towards the improvement of their own sexual media literacy in order to have meaningful, productive conversations with their children. Parents can also examine whether placing restrictions on devices and content, as well as placing limitations on screen time, would be an effective measure towards the prevention of exposure to explicit content. 

At the same time that parents can choose to play a role in facilitating the safety and health of their children through the implementation of restrictive measures for online content, they can also encourage their youth to think critically about what type of personal and social life they want to cultivate. Reminding adolescents that the content which shapes their psyche can impact their self-concepts as well as the way they view other people in their immediate environment can contribute to them individually, independently making determinations regarding what type of sexual information they want to expose themselves to. To start a conversation regarding how individual viewpoints do not have to be shaped by the principle of cultural acceptability, a parent might point out to their child that while a U.S. poll indicated that 40% of teens agreed that sharing nude photos is normal, this does not mean that she or he has to automatically participate in the activity. During these types of conversations, parents can explore the pressures, risks, and consequences of receiving and/or sending nude photos.

As we continue to work towards the development of a rape-free world where our youth have sexual agency that contributes to the creation of a mentally and physically health, it is important to remember that the information young people access online shapes their consciousness of themselves and their peers. In recognizing this principle, it is important for parents, educators, and our youth to cooperatively, collaboratively engage in productive conversations regarding how to utilize digital spaces in ways that contribute to the development of healthy, humanizing sexual relationships which centralize consent as a non-negotiable precursor to intimacy. By working together towards this goal, we can transform ourselves and society for the better.  

Bio: Jocelyn Crawley is a radical feminist who resides in Atlanta, Georgia. She places primacy on analyzing and understanding sexual assault as an egregious harm. When she is not writing about these issues, Jocelyn enjoys reading, working out, and critical thinking.